Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
