Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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