I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
