I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
