no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize