I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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