I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
