none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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