So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize