Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize