the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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