I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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