Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
