How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
