So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
