You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
