i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
