I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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