I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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