I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
