There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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