marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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