I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
