we made out on top of his cat.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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