he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
This house was built for laser tag.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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