sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
