Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
