I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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