maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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