I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
