I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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