We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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