Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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