Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
