i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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