I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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