..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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