Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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