hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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