Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
