I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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