Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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