Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
