so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
