so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
