that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
