Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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