I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He felt like a one man threesome
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
