I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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