Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Drunk is not a location!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
