They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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