I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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