Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
