I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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