Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
