i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is Oprah even human
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
