first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
