Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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