I wanna bring you to show and tell
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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