the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
