So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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