Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
