There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
