i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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