we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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