She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
