he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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