you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
