Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I cut my penus on the lid.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
