mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
