Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just gift wrapped bread.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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