i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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